After all things have been done, I decide to go back to my own country for a year. Among other reasons, I would love to spend some time with "mama's mafia boss". I'm not a mafia boss, and my mom is not that scary (She is, but not that much).
Besides, there are so many things I set out to achieve in that year:
- Resume my Japanese study, and get at least N4.
- Build up confidence of driving car
- Get a diving certificate
- Get a boat license
- Practice Kendo
- Get lots of certificates closely related to my field of working
Surprisingly, people are way too eager to jump into conclusion in so many ways, without any contemplation of other's actions or facts. They are too fascinated by tips of icebergs. Life is not that simple, or I am thinking too much.
Indeed, there are two types of simplicity: one is naively, blindly, clueless strait who have ultimately take everything as it is; and another makes simplicity by choice. The latter is fully aware of the complication of matter, and decide to iron out the mess. Both types may lead happy lives unless no crisis come into picture.
At least until now, I strongly believe the second will stay strong and firm in any circumstances and have led my life toward this direction. And keep on failing ...
I have so many variables in my equation. Therefore there are multiple solutions.
I fail to find the simple way out and lost in the maze of anger, frustration and irritation.
The questions:
Should I kill this relationship and turn back to my single life ?
Should I stay here or move back or travel to another country ?
Should I cling on this "relaxing" job or switch to different intersting and busy one ?
Should I keep on worrying about how I could save $5, what I will eat for lunch/dinner, how I could make my boss richer ... or start to make a world better place ?
Human are way too selfish. I am sick of them.
I am human, I am sick of myself.
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