I , 愛、会い

"
- Die
- That's why I'm saying it should've died, too !
- That's not mean at all ! What's mean is the mother and the siblings dying, leaving him all alone. It's way harder being the one left behind. I don't have the confidence to live long enough until he's old and dies. If he's gonna be left all alone again, it would've been better if he had died too. That's the point I'm making.
- There's no way I'll die before you!
- You can never depend on a woman. You and I have different resolves.
- You ... Unfortunately, I'm an old man. I can't be a surrogate mom or brother to you. But I can be your buddy. Buddies are great. Age, sex, family, relationships don't matter. If you have a lover, your wife'll beat you up. But you can have as many friends as you like and no one'll complain. But because of it, I go by a single rule. Don't die before your friend. I hate it when you have lots of friends here and there, and you go and die, and make them all sad. So you live until you're all alone and you cry alone. You watch them all die, then you die alone. Even if I cry, I'll never make a buddy cry. That's my rule when making a friend. So rest assured. You'll never need to cry because you're all alone. After you die, I'll cry for you. So rest assured and die, buddy.
Die, you old bastard !
"

How about you when you

...
hurt me ?
...
made me smile ?
...
are with me ?
.......

No matter
how generous you claimed to be ...
how much you consciously love people ...
what you would have done if you had ...
what you would do if you were ...
what you will do if you are ...
Mocking

Not an unusual scene though
Those wearing warm smile hug each other,
And crush a begging skull under their feet.
Lit torch of hesitation.
Yet I feel pain.
Crying

One hundred and one
I can be told what I need by nobody.
Whistling

Been waiting for
something to happen,
someone to come,
A riot ?
An evolution ?
An innovation ?
a dog fight with a neighbor friend ?
Howling ...

It is never a coincident,
It is destined...

Thousand year,
Hundreds of sunset,
Or a life span.
Wandering

Until then,
Observe those observers,
Kill those killers,
Fish those fishermen,
Win the winner,
Lose the loser,
...
Until then,
fighting

State of nothingness.

Can't believe that they are afraid of dying alone more than living alone.
.
.
.
There is no heaven or hell. All human are destined to die someday. And the place where they go after death is nothingness.
.
.
.
Looking at photographs of her now trigger nothing. Have I already reached that "state", where nobody can touch me ?
.
.
.
Whatever they can take away from me, they may never be important at all.

Doubt, or trust and friends of apathy

"People should be doubted. Many people misunderstand this concept. Doubting people simply is a part of trying to get to know them. Trust, that act is without a doubt a very noble one. But you know, what many people do, what they call "trust" is actually giving up on trying to understand others. And that has nothing to do with trust, but is rather apathy. There are countless people out there who fail to realize that apathy is a far more devastating act than doubting others.... The true evil is becoming apathetic about other people."

Undone thing [sigh]

Hi there,

I didn't mean as rudeness when leaving the chocolate on the table without saying anything yesterday. Hope you didn't throw it away though. I had just bought it, as you recalled one time, I rushed out for some reason. So, please rest assure that it's still eatable ! XD

And ... there is one thing I really, honestly want to say [All my courage always flees away without notice whenever I see you, haha.] Hm hmm, "You have very beautiful eyes, and your rabbit teeth are damn cute, too".

I'm Heartnet. I would have introduced my name much earlier. XDDD

Wish you have a good night.
Train Hearnet.

Trees

It was a hot hot noon,
Even big big trees sweated.
They are light, yet much heavier than gravity.
I can see them here,
plenty on their fingers, arms, back and neck.
A gust of naughty wind passed by, once in a while,
Pull those awaiting leaves down the ground,
From tired hands which had been carrying them for too long.
A lot each time.
They were sweating, weren't they ?

Trees lose part of its body,
But they are not upset, aren't they ?
Or they are, I don't know.
They can not speak.
They can only be interpreted,
By others, by me.

What can I do for them, I wonder ?
Great great thought vanishes after a split of time,
Left behind by busy head of uneasy life.

Breeze and feathers

Honesty of the rock.
It stands pure and ardent,
As unchanged as when it was born.
Fall in love with the rock !

Branches of flowers rise out,
Try to reach pedestrians on that road.
What can I do for you ?
You have something to tell me ?
Your souls that crave for liberty ?
I can't, not do anything for you.
I'll give you the warmth of human's hand;
The same touch as that of lovers.
The same look as that toward my same species.
And ... Hope it eases your thirsty.

Stay strong and straight, my friend.
Whatever they have been taking from you, it was never important.
Thing they could never rob, steal, borrow or beg for, it is there unvanquishably !
As you find it out, you'll break the ring and become immortal.

The one and only chance,
That I give others,
That I give myself.
To suffer pieces of painful regret.
To give up false hope and half-heart desire.
... Reach out for the ultimate truth ...

How can one thing be viewed from different stand point

Canon

--> CaLm you down



--> boost up your spirit



--> Let's smile



--> forget this unnecessary loneliness



--> never giving upon chasing after your dream, no matter how idealized or unrealistic it is, cause we're young and fresh !

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People can "clone" the sun much more easily than they expected. Looking at lines of car you can see lines of SUNs are being mass-produced in factory named Earth. 

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There is countless time thought of giving up bite his mind. It was really a very, ... , very long 4km. Memories of past questioned him where his motive were at that moment. Used to run for courage, courage to confront and confess. Now ? Nothing save to a child play.

What would happen if he gave up at that time ? Once in a while ? Or the beginning of the end ?

What was wrong with simply stopping doing something because you don't want to any more ?

What's wrong with being weak ? Is it really that bad ?

What is it that I've been pursuing ?

Power ? How much ? Enough to stand alone on this planet.

Money ? How much ? Enough to calm myself and prove that money is not everything.

Love ? Do I need any when I have power and money ?

After seeing a shooting star in the early morning, I wished I have nothing to wish, none of power, money or love.

Who am I now ? What have I become ? Gotta find the answer myself.

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The bad should be loved, so that they can change to be better.
The good is really good if they wish the same thing.

However,

The good is loved and the bad is hated.
The good becomes better ? what kind of "better" is that when they don't understand pain ?
The bad gets worse. They will do bad things, to the good and ...
Everything goes on and on in the perfect circle.

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I'm trying to understand what that care-free wild bird is thinking ? Like the way I always do with other things, animals, plants, ... If they can speak, what will they say ?

"You, human, are the worst. You've raised us up, chopped us down, done whatever thing you think it's good for you. Who do you think you are ? Who gives you the rights to do that to us for the sake of your own good ? If someday I turn to be bigger and stronger than you, I'll make sure you suffer all the same hardship as I do now."

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Do I really have to speak out so that she could understand ?
Can't I simply look at her and she would get the message ?
Like the way wind does: It shakes the branches of trees, or blows waves of sea ? It doesn't say anything, does it ?

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